Loremaster Kevin joins in as we look back at a few of the highlights from the first third of Season 6: More about the duel with The Sword of the Morning, Melisandre's naked time, R+L=J, connections to anime and other fantasy fiction, and the possibilities of Cleganebowl!
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Jennifer is pissed off at cliffhangers, but loves Westeros too much to stop watching ... though she may have to go to another room if Ramsay gets the torture going with his new captives. Jeff, meanwhile, references the R+L=J theory, only to realize that Jennifer hasn't heard of it, so he tries his best to answer her questions without Loremaster Kevin on Skype. We check in with practically everybody tonight, and it's way too much to even try to list here ... Ruh Roh, Raggy!!
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HOLY $H1T! Everything's coming up Melisandre, which is pretty nice considering what we learned about her last week. Two people get their heads bashed in, we learn a new mystery about Hodor, Jamie is about to lose his cool, both Sansa and Arya No Name get a little good news, and Miracle Max makes a pill. Ramsay Bolton, meanwhile, proves once again that his desire to be Westeros' Most-Hated Man is truly what drives him.
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43 episodes in, and in this - our first "practically live" episode - OF COURSE we have a microphone malfunction! The show must go on... and next week, Jennifer will be clear as a bell!
Anyway, while the episode is FULL of spoilers, this description is not. We're just going to say:
1) Where are the dogs?
2) What's up with the leopard print?
3) Holy hells!
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With Tormund and a handful of reluctant Nightswatch in tow, Jon saves as many Wildlings as he can ... because they arrive at Hardhome just in time for all hell to break loose in the most literal way possible. The survivors get to go become farmers, and almost no one else seems capable of understanding why Jon prefers Living Wildlings to Zombie Wildlings. So... then something happens. It's pretty messy, and one helluva stressful cliffhanger for Season 5.
ONWARD TO SEASON 6!!!!
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As Stannis Baratheon marches his army towards Winterfell, he has to make a choi... you know, I really don't even have words for this. Let's just go with a quote from the man himself:
"If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself, the choice is no choice at all. He must fulfill his destiny and become who he is meant to be, however much he may hate it."
Yep. You go with that, big guy. Holy crap.
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Drama Alert at the wall! Mance won't save his people with a simple kneel. Jon won't taint his love of a dead woman by smoochin with a Red Woman. Jon does, however, prove a very popular guy and pulls off a surprise election victory. Good for you, Jon - everyone loves you!!
Meanwhile, Stannis prepares to finally March south with his army to take back Winterfell, and also finds time to earn his Dad of the Year award. Jon and Tormund have a long talk and find some common ground when it comes to handling the whole "all those Wildlings are going to be zombies soon" situation. I'm sure everyone will still love Jon when they hear about his place.... right? Ollie?
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Cersei Lannister becomes her own worst enemy when her desire to hurt the Tyrells leads her to give power to the wrong set of zealots. Royals and nobles start getting locked up and King Tommen can't seem to get it together to free them. Cersei finds a way to free herself via some amazingly-unsexy nudity, and we learn a new meaning of the word "SHAME!"
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We aren't quite sure what the deal is with Petyr Baelish, but it seems like he really screws Sansa over this time... no pun intended. Sansa, Theon (Reek), Baelish, and Brienne all come together in-or-near Winterfell, and this really doesn't lead to good things for the new Mrs. Bolton. It's very unpleasant. VERY. UNPLEASANT.
Baelish's plot, however, provides some amazing possibilities for the future. We look forward to see how his machinations play themselves out!
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Daenerys really, REALLY doesn't want to re-open the fighting pits, but it seems like the Sons of the Harpy might stop murdering people if she does. Luckily for her, she gives in just in time to be reunited with Jorah who - despite bringing her a gift - still isn't so welcome. Dany and Tyrion get to know each other and find some intellectual common ground, and then it's time for the pit-fighting championships! Things don't go so smoothly, but at least Jorah gets another chance to prove his worth. And then ... fire!
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