Stannis Baratheon: Cold, dry, dull... and he'll do anything for a son of his very own.
Renly Baratheon: Friendly, witty, interesting... and he'll do anything to make his secret boyfriend proud of him.
Add in a little Catelyn and a whole very lot of Red Lady, and it isn't long before the night is dark and full of ... well, let's just call him "Stannis Junior."
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Need some help from the sea? The Greyjoys are probably going to be up for that! Family in trouble? The Boltons seem like heroic types! Exotic travelling nurse wants to make babies with you? I'm sure the Freys will absolutely understand!
Oh, Robb... ohhhhhh Robb ... you should have listened to your mommy.
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The Hound is a scary killer, but he's a pussycat compared to order-follower Janos Slynt, who is a newborn lamb compared to Meryn Trant, who is a fluffy unicorn compared to their collective boss: Joffrey the Incest-Bastard. Sansa shows a hint of spine and slyness, but nearly loses it all when the poo hits the fan/king and a riot ensues. Later, a newly-adult Sansa gets love advice from Cersei, a true expert on the subject.
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Season 1 draws to a close, and it's a terrible experience for nearly everyone... unless you're the new King of the North or a dragon. Sansa is having a rotten time in King's Landing, and her dad...well, "rotten" is a key word here.
Season 2 Recaps start tomorrow, so come on back and... well, you know, I'm sure things will turn around for Sansa, Arya, and all the rest of the gang. Happy days surely lie ahead!
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Jousting! Horse murder! Assassination plots! Job-quitting! Leg stabbing! Trial by combat! Massive betrayals! We cram a heck of a lot of Stark/Lannister drama into a single podcast, as Season 1 prepares for its closing moments!
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Joffrey goes full-on c-word, and for the first time (but probably not the last), Sansa has to pay the price for it. Bron saves the day with anti-heroic badassery. Ned goes for Best-Dad-Ever credit with one of his daughters, and then takes us through a procedural crime drama with all of the montages but none of The Who songs. Intrigue abounds in King's Landing!
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Over in the land of Essos, we meet the Targaryen kids: One a power-mad tyrant-wannabe, and the other a severely-abused future empire-toppler. The Dothraki are a very rapey people, yet there might be hope... for at least some of them. What does it mean to have The Blood of the Dragon, and is Charlie Sheen involved? Have a listen and find out!
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A look at the many flavors of Westerosian bastard, followed by a recap of everything that happens at The Wall in Season 1: Long-distance urinating, combat training, fat-shaming, oath-taking, and zombie-burning!
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Our epic journey begins! After discussing what we're doing and why, the Game of Thrones full-series recap starts with a trip to Winterfell, where we meet the main players of this most-deadly game: The Starks, the Baratheons, and the Lannisters get the complex intrigue going right away. Also, there's a guy named after the local weather, a human-shaped hound, and a whole bunch of adorable killer wolves... and all that is still just the tiny tip of the Winter-is-Coming iceberg!
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