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Jaqen H'ghar is a strange, dangerous, and creepy person, but not nearly as strange as the guy who tickles people with rats, nor as dangerous as the giant that burned his brother, and barely moves the needle on the creep-o-meter compared to that slimy Petyr Baelish. None of those dudes can change their face, though, and with Arya calling the shots, Jaqen takes the sport of sneak-murder to a whole new level. It's too bad that Tywin Lannister wants to kill Robb Stark so badly, or else Arya might have found herself a new father figure!
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Jennifer and Jeff are joined by Redditor Kevin for the Season 2 story of Danaerys. She manages to save her remaining khalisar from certain doom... for a week or two, maybe. The lovely city of Qarth is full of riches, luxury, and a bizarre cast of merchants and creepy warlocks. Or maybe just one creepy warlock? We really can't tell. Too-close-for-comfort Jorah meets knows-too-much Quaithe, Dany ponders another political marriage, and then... BETRAYAL! AND BLUE LIPS!
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With an explosion that puts Michael Bay to shame, Tyrion Lannister takes on Stannis Baratheon in a King's Landing siege destined for the history books... except maybe do a find/replace on Tyrion and replace that with Tywin. Yeah, that looks better! Also, a horse poops in the Red Keep, Sansa trades a psychopath fiancee for a leering creeper, and Varys would have gotten his naughty bits squeezed by a hot lady... if he had naughty bits to squeeze, that is.
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Theon Grayjoy takes a trip to see his long-lost, loving father, and commits some accidental incest on the way. Born again, Theon tries to prove himself to his family by making decisions that even Robb Stark would tell him aren't a very good idea.
Meanwhile, Tyrion Lannister is concerned about the future of King's Landing, and uses the power of his impressive cranium to sniff out deceit and solidify as much power as he can.
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Stannis Baratheon: Cold, dry, dull... and he'll do anything for a son of his very own.
Renly Baratheon: Friendly, witty, interesting... and he'll do anything to make his secret boyfriend proud of him.
Add in a little Catelyn and a whole very lot of Red Lady, and it isn't long before the night is dark and full of ... well, let's just call him "Stannis Junior."
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Need some help from the sea? The Greyjoys are probably going to be up for that! Family in trouble? The Boltons seem like heroic types! Exotic travelling nurse wants to make babies with you? I'm sure the Freys will absolutely understand!
Oh, Robb... ohhhhhh Robb ... you should have listened to your mommy.
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The Hound is a scary killer, but he's a pussycat compared to order-follower Janos Slynt, who is a newborn lamb compared to Meryn Trant, who is a fluffy unicorn compared to their collective boss: Joffrey the Incest-Bastard. Sansa shows a hint of spine and slyness, but nearly loses it all when the poo hits the fan/king and a riot ensues. Later, a newly-adult Sansa gets love advice from Cersei, a true expert on the subject.
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Season 1 draws to a close, and it's a terrible experience for nearly everyone... unless you're the new King of the North or a dragon. Sansa is having a rotten time in King's Landing, and her dad...well, "rotten" is a key word here.
Season 2 Recaps start tomorrow, so come on back and... well, you know, I'm sure things will turn around for Sansa, Arya, and all the rest of the gang. Happy days surely lie ahead!
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Jousting! Horse murder! Assassination plots! Job-quitting! Leg stabbing! Trial by combat! Massive betrayals! We cram a heck of a lot of Stark/Lannister drama into a single podcast, as Season 1 prepares for its closing moments!
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Joffrey goes full-on c-word, and for the first time (but probably not the last), Sansa has to pay the price for it. Bron saves the day with anti-heroic badassery. Ned goes for Best-Dad-Ever credit with one of his daughters, and then takes us through a procedural crime drama with all of the montages but none of The Who songs. Intrigue abounds in King's Landing!
Like what you hear? We would LOVE it if you tell some friends, or write a review on iTunes or Stitcher!
Questions or comments? Find us online via our parent podcast:
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